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The U.F.O. Show
"The U.F.O. Show" is the third episode of Channel Umptee-3, aired on November 8, 1997. Written by creator Jim George and directed by Michael Peraza, its topic is UFOs and extraterrestrial life. The ending of the episode also discusses evolution, particularly on Earth. Cold open After Ogden gets the viewer's attention, he is excited to tell them, quietly, what today's show is all about before Sheldon interrupts him. The latter doesn't want Ogden to give it away, wanting to start the show first. Ogden asks if he can at least give us a hunt, with Sheldon still not wanting him to tell. Ogden decides to give the following hint in spite of Sheldon's warnings: "What's short, has bug eyes and doesn't live on Earth?" With Sheldon interrupting Ogden before he can say what it is, with the latter giving another hint: "It's a lot like E.T.!" Sheldon reprimands Ogden for telling the viewers, with Ogden stating "What? I didn't say U.F.Os!" with an exasperated Sheldon yelling Ogden's name as we cut to the theme song. Plot As we come back from the commercial break, Ogden asks Sheldon "Okay, I can tell them now, right?" with the latter sarcastically saying "Yeah, like they don't already know!" Ogden is particularly excited about today's topic, and stresses the topic is "unidentified flying objects," not simply unidentified objects. A cutaway gag is shown of the latter before Ogden uses Sheldon as an "IFO" (Identified flying object). Sheldon is angry at Ogden for this, but is interrupted by a speeding Holey. Ogden believes what they just saw was a U.F.O., until it becomes clear it is Holey using his portable hole as a hovercraft. Sheldon tells Ogden not to jump to conclusions like that. Ignoring Sheldon's warnings, Ogden states U.F.Os might be spaceships, with Sheldon telling Ogden once more not to jump to conclusions. Sheldon asks Ogden to please stick to the facts. Professor Edwin I. Relevant is shown in his office, showing how aerodynamics work with an airplane made out of popsicle sticks. Ogden suddenly barges in, and asks Relevant what he knows about U.F.Os. When Relevant explains some things look like U.F.Os but are not, Sheldon comes in and admits to Ogden he did not want to do this topic due to the latter's assumptions on the subject. Ogden states everyone knows they're out there, with Sheldon telling him what he sees in science fiction is not necessarily scientifically accurate. Relevant states there has been recent sightings of what may be extraterrestrial life, making Ogden feel cocky. Stickley is shown talking to Pandora, the latter ignoring him and filing her nails. Ricketts is not pleased with the topic, with Pandora comically stating "They have no right to talk about your family like that." Back to Ogden and co., Relevant explains that although S.E.T.I. (Search for Extra Terrestrial Life) has attempted to find intelligent life in the galaxy, he warns Ogden it has not been promising thus far. Stickley believes the reason for the lack of response is that no one has made it worth their while and decides to use his wealth to contact alien lifeforms. He does this by allowing Bud and Ed to film a cheaply-made video encouraging aliens to come to Earth in exchange for putting Umptee-3 in a separate galaxy from Earth and a prize of $1,000,000. Ricketts is excited his plan to stop Umptee-3 may finally come to fruition, followed by maniacal laughter. Ogden, Sheldon and Relevant are still in the office, with the former still probing the latter about aliens. As Ogden and Sheldon leave, Holey indicates he wants the two to go into the hole with them. We now see Ricketts and Bud using the satellites on his roof in an attempt to attract extraterrestrial life. It seems to have worked, as a large group of aliens overhear the message and head to planet Earth. Back at Umptee-3's site, Ogden uses a payphone to get into contact with aliens, while Sheldon warns him they want facts. Ogden's attempt fails. The aliens are on their way to Earth while Ogden still tries to get in contact with them. The aliens have arrived on Earth, and after a few attempts find Stickley's mansion; Pandora believes they are simply trick-or-treaters. Ricketts, annoyed they were not familiar with Channel Umptee-3, hands out Most Wanted-esque mugshots of the trio and doesn't want the aliens to return unless they have Umptee-3 with them, afterwards wanting the extraterrestrials to put them in a box on Mars. Relevant, with Umptee-3 with him, finally stops the aerodynamics experiment using a lever. He tries to tell Ogden the likelihood of life in outer space is low, but Ogden keeps interrupting him before he can finish. Relevant continues discussing the matter, unbeknownst to him and others they have been taken into a spaceship. With Umptee-3 kidnapped, a party is held at the Ricketts mansion, and as can be imagined, Stickley is quite ecstatic. He receives congratulatory messages on his intercom, but his mood sours when he learns people are congratulating him for his highest rated show that's ever been seen: Umptee-3 in space with aliens. He commands Bud and Ed to stop Umptee-3, while Pandora attempts to calm her husband down. Back to Relevant and Ogden, the former tells the latter that intelligent life anywhere else in the galaxy is almost non-existent. He shows an evolution chart of man, and begins telling the history of life on Earth, and how it began due to conditions on the planet being just right for it. As this happens, Bud and Ed are about to go into space using a rocket. Relevant discusses evolution in detail and how most organisms on Earth are quite different than they were millions of years ago. Pandora asks an annoyed Ricketts if he's proud of the educational presentation, being shushed. Relevant finishes his speech by stating the same thing happening anywhere else in the universe is quite unlikely, stating it's a miracle we exist in the first place on Earth. A delirious Ricketts expresses his anger at Ogden in his office, while Bud and Ed are scared in space from their unclear route. Relevant brings up that even if intelligent life existed in the universe outside of Earth, the length it would take to travel would make a meeting unlikely. As Relevant continues, Ogden decides to drive a space cruiser with an alien. Ogden, now presented with scientific facts, accepts the unlikelihood of aliens (but yet waves, and uses a special alien way of saying goodbye, to the aliens he had met on the journey) as he leaves for planet Earth. Ogden is touched by the aliens, and sheds a tear, with one alien revealing he received the message Ogden left in a bottle from earlier. With that, Umptee-3 returns to Earth. Bud and Ed, still in space, disagree on where they should go, and see a waving Ogden pass by them. Bud asks "Hey, wasn't that?" before both dismiss the notion it was him. Back on Earth, Ogden asks Relevant if he truly believes aliens aren't out there, which is followed by Sheldon yelling Ogden's name once more, with Relevant stating there is no evidence to support they exist. Sheldon agrees with Relevant, but Ogden responds with "Okay, okay. But wouldn't it be cool if they did?" which cuts to the stars in space, one shooting. The episode then ends. Trivia *'Goof': The banner shows the prize as being $1 billion dollars, yet Bud and Ed state it's million. Though this may have been intentional due to the agents' incompetence. *'Animation error': After the aliens leave the Ricketts mansion for the first time, Pandora's chest is colored the same as her dress.